(by Pablo Burgués)

Contrary to what the international scientific community has been stating for decades, recent studies of the University of Massachusetts have confirmed that Ibiza was not invented by Loco Mía, but it already existed long before. 

Apparently all began 60 million years ago, when the African tectonic plate collided with the Eurasian one. As a consequence of the tremendous bump there were huge land folds, which formed the main mountain ranges at the North of Africa and the South of Europe (Apennines, Pyrenees, Atlas, Alps…). Likewise and at the same time the Balearic Islands were born, because though it may seem they are something exceptional, supercool and mega-smashing, in geological terms they are only a simple continuation of the Baetic System.

At those times the seas and oceans of the world were very high, so much that the Mediterranean level was hundreds of meters higher than it is today, and, thus, most of our islands were submerged under water.

But God (or Baby Jesus, depending on the sources being consulted) wanted that with the arrival of the Quaternary it began to get really cooler and suddenly the planet lived a terrible glaciation. For those of you who spent Geology classes smoking cigars at the backside of the high school, I’ll tell you that one of the glaciation consequences is a tremendous sea level drop. This is because, due to the low global temperatures, most part of the earth water gathers at the poles, turned into ice.

Due to this phenomenon the Balearic Islands emerged from the bottom of the sea little by little, to such an extent that Majorca at some point was joined by land to Minorca, and Formentera was joined to Ibiza. That is, for one reason or another, here it has been impossible to set up a proper beach club.

But good weather, as shoulder pads, always comes back and cold gradually turned into nice heat. Glaciers began to melt and the Mediterranean was again filled with water until it got the look it has nowadays.

But look out, my friends, we should not claim victory yet because fun has only begun… Though it started Idon’tknowhowmany years ago, the melting process at the poles has not finished yet and due to this we see how the sea level increases every year, slowly but inexorably. This means crappy news for coastal villages such as Sant Antoni, Santa Eulalia or Portinax. However it’s great news for inland villages such as Sant Mateo, Santa Gertrudis or Sant Joan, that in some thousands of years time will be able to boast about having their houses, hotels and restaurants at the very sea-front.

 

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Translation: Dora Sales

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